I have been struggling lately with posting. Some days I feel the words flowing through my fingers on their own. I don’t even have to think about it. And other days I feel like I think about what to write all day and cannot come up with anything. My goal was to write on this blog daily. Tell a part of my story each day and it was finally all out. But I am learning through this process, that maybe some parts of my story need to stay with me a bit longer. There are parts that I am maybe not done with…so those I need to keep private a bit longer.
I do know that this exercise in anonymous “confessions” has helped a great deal. I have just a few readers, and that is plenty for me now. Knowing that someone is reading my story (the bits I have put out there so far) is helping me…If I can help even ONE person feel less alone in their depression, I am happy.
I read a blog a few minutes ago that made me sad. And worried. And feeling a bit helpless. I read of a young teens desire to give up. And it brought me back to where I was at that age and how I felt the same. I was done with life. It hadn’t brought me anything but pain and insecurity and misery. But now, I look back and am so grateful that I made it through that time. I am 40 now. And happy. VERY happy. And that is something that I NEVER thought was going to be possible. Ever. It wasn’t an easy road to happiness…it wasn’t a smooth ride. But I did it. I got here. And it is a huge accomplishment.
So, to you out there, if you are reading this (you know who you are) I hope you know that I am here rooting for you. I am praying for strength and happiness for you. I am giving you a big virtual hug and wishing you the best. Please don’t give up, please know you are not alone and if someone in the cyber world, who has never met you before, cares this much about what happens to you, you have to know that there are people in your every day life that care even more. Reach out to them. Talk to someone. And if you can’t, you can talk to me. I wish you well. I wish you strength. I wish you happiness. And most of all, I wish you life.
Organized Musings of a Chaotic Mind 